Mood: Daily Needs
Listening to: Kill La Kill soundtrack
Watching: Kill La Kill
So I'm sick and bored at home. Not enough inspiration to draw anything, so what can I do? WATCH MOVIES.
THIS IS MY REVIEW OF THE 2 G.I. JOE. FILMS. Spoilers duh.
Rise of Cobra
Ya know what? I actually kind of liked this one. It's not great, but some characters were likeable enough that I could forgive most of the problems I had with the film. My main issue with the movie? Too much CG. Scratch that, actually. Too much OBVIOUS CG. That and shakey cam action. I don't dislike shakey cam, but sometimes it gets really hard to see what's going on, let alone who's actually fighting. It's not the best movie ever, but if you want a cheesy, shut off your brain, action movie, this film isn't that bad.
Let's talk characters. Duke, our protagonist, was a bit forgettable. His best bud Ripcord was a much more memorable character, if only because he's mildly humorous. I don't even remember the rest of the Joes' names outside of one in particular: Snake-eyes.
As far as Cobra goes, they were much more memorable. The Baroness was cool, but I felt she was less on the badass side, and more on the spunky side. Storm Shadow was cool too. Sure, everytime he and Snakeeyes would tussle it would be no contest (snake always wins), but their fights are fun to watch. Zartan was VERY underplayed but that's kind of his point, so I can forgive it. Destro is kinda genero evil rich man. The real showstealer though (aside from snake and storm) is Cobra. Actually, lemme be clear. I'm talking about the mad scientist. I love his mannerisms and overall cheerfulness at doing the most dastardly things. He's hilariously over the top in a good way. When he actually BECOMES Cobra Commander though... eh. I HATE his look as Commander. It's like some kinda freaky fish man on critical bypass.
I give it a solid 7/10
This one... sucked. It's like, "Hey, you know all the characters you liked from the first one? Let's not bring them back!" Duke is killed off, The Baroness subplot went nowhere, Ripcord and the rest of the joes from the first movie are missing, and Destro, whom they set up in the last film (shiny head and all) is scrapped! Oh but the new team has Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson so it must be awesome right? Right. Those two ARE awesome, but they don't save this movie. The only returning characters (I say characters, not actors) are Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Cobra Commander, Zartan, Duke (who's killed off), and Destro (who's ignored and forgotten).
The Storm Shadow/Snake Eyes action scenes are once again the highlight of the movie, along side Bruce Willis suiting up and kicking ass for freedom. I gotta say though, despite not being around that much, I LOVE COBRA COMMANDER'S NEW DESIGN. However, he lacks the charm he had as the mad doctor from the first film and barely does anything in this one. The main issue I have with this one: SHAKEY CAM UP THE A**, NO RETURNING HEROES.
I give it a 5/10